shufti

"You are quite sure this is safe?" Shufti asks, tentatively, as she sits on the operating table. There are a lot of people in blue pyjamas around her, one of whom has just told her he's going to put a needle in her back. Shufti is pretty sure that backs aren't meant to be poked with a needle.

"This is the spinal anaesthetic." the anaesthetist says. "After this you'll only feel tugging, not pain."

Shufti glances at CJ, who nods encouragingly. Apparently this is something more routine in America than it is in Borogravia.

After someone pokes around with her back, there's a sudden flurry of activity as they tell her to lie down and make sure the anaesthetic works. Then, they put a sheet up between her head and her belly.

It's the weirdest feeling ever...

They'd warned her that because of the way the twins share a growth sac, they would have to be delivered early this way. There's two teams waiting with little tables and masks.

In what seems to be only a couple of minutes, there's a sudden feeling of pushing on her chest, and the next moment the surgeon hands a tiny baby over to the first team.

"Twin one." she says, turning her attention back to Shufti's belly.

"Carl, go see!" Shufti urges, as CJ looks somewhat terrified at a midwife asking him if he wants to cut the cord.

A squeak the other side of the room is followed by a small cry.

"He's a boy." Carl reports.

"Is he okay?" Shufti asks.

"He's a bit surprised, but he's breathing on his own." the midwife reports.

The surgeon moves again, and delivers the second twin, who goes over to the other team.

The second pause is longer, and Shufti listens as best she can over twin one's crying to hear the second twin. She can just about see, around the curtain, the baby doctor putting a little mask over the baby's face, and pumping air into him. For a moment, she feels like her own heart is stopping...

... and then the second twin clenches his fists, and makes a feeble squeal.

"Is the second twin okay?" Shufti asks again, wishing she could move her arms more easily to wipe the tears out of her eyes.

"He's breathing now, we're going to give him a little bit of oxygen to help him, but he looks fine." the second midwife says. "We're going to take both the twins to the neonatal unit, what surname should I put on their tags?"

"Johnson." Shufti says. They'd talked about this with Jack a few weeks back, who had actually asked if he could shorten it ('Manickle-Johnson is weird, Mom! Why can't we just be Johnson?'.)

It seems to take a lot longer to finish the operation. After, she can't wait to get out of recovery, and she's relieved when the nurse wheels her to the neonatal unit. Carl has nipped to the café to get Jack and Leah from their aunt, and the four of them step into the unit together.

The two incubators are placed side by side, with blue labels indicating 'Twin One Johnson' and 'Twin Two Johnson'. The second twin has a little oxygen tube on his face, but the midwife is able to pick out both twins and put them in her arms.

"Mom?" Jack whispers.

"Yes?" Shufti asks, looking up at him.

"They're like..." Jack bites his lip. "They don't look like me."

"They do look more like Dad, don't they?" Shufti says. "They were never going to be blonde, honey. I think when they get older they'll be a little darker than Leah."

"Will anyone believe they're my brothers?" Jack asks.

"Sure they will." Shufti says. "As long as you do. Every little boy looks up to his big brother, and you'll have two little people looking up to you."

Jack appears satisfied with this, and gently puts his finger in twin two's hand.

[OOC: After this.]

"The trousers of time." Shufti says, softly.

On the Disc, a major event can split an alternate universe. Shufti had not considered that removing herself and Jack from her timeline would do that, but it actually makes sense. The universe has to move on. She had found herself wondering how time had moved on so far since she had left.

"The trousers of time." Johnny nods, with a smirk. He nods at the boy he had addressed as Theodore. "Of course in this leg, the two of you did not leave. It was most fortunate for me."

"Then where am I?" Shufti asks. "In this leg."

"Dead." Johnny shrugs. "You married here and went to Ankh-Morpork to do a man's work, for the City Watch. Got yourself blown up by an exploding swamp dragon in a house fire." Amused smirk again. "Of course I took him. I use his middle name, since you were so disrespectful as to name him after your sergeant."

"Mother?" Theodore steps forward, addressing her in Borogravian. Next to him, Jack is staring at the boy that looks almost like a twin.

This was not expected.

As they go inside to eat, Bonnie's mind is racing. Should she try and take Theodore with them? Is he happy with the horrible, heartless man who took advantage of her at his conception? He doesn't seem to speak any Morporkian - which would translate to English should he move - which would be a problem. It wouldn't be difficult to take him, with all the ammo she and CJ are boasting.

She observes Theodore as he chats to Jack and Leah. Despite the fact that they speak totally different languages, they are sharing the universal bonding only a child can achieve. Namely, Jack is showing Theodore how to play Angry Birds on his phone.

"So, you will observe that, to your surprise, I am the much better parent." Johnny says.

"Seriously?" Shufti raises an eyebrow.

"Your boy is pampered, and chubby, and whiny. Mine is obedient and muscular." Johnny says. "He can use a sword, chop wood with an axe, and run a mile in eight minutes. What does yours do?"

Shufti opens her mouth to say she doesn't have to justify Jack to anyone, but then she notices Jack looking at her.

"I took Jack to America so he could have a childhood." she says, firmly. "If I wanted him to be a soldier, I would have stayed here. As it is, he goes to school, has lots of friends, and plays baseball."

Johnny snorts, then addresses Jack.

"You, boy. You wanted to meet me. What did you want to ask?"

Jack looks at Shufti, then at Johnny.

"Um... like... how come you didn't marry my Mom?"

"I offered to marry your mother, but she turned me down because she's a whore." Johnny says, pouring tea.

"No, I turned him down because he was an asshole." Shufti chips in.

"Ass-hole?" Theodore asks.

"It means butt." Leah says, pointing down. "Butt."

"Don't call my mom a whore." Jack scowls.

"You should learn some manners, boy." Johnny barks. "Next question?"

"Is it true you kidnapped me?" Jack asks. "Mom says that's why I haven't had contact with you..."

"Of course not." Johnny says. "You are my property, it was only because of the Bar I wasn't able to take you. I would keep you here now, by force, if your step-father did not carry a gun."

All in all, the meeting doesn't go well. Jack tries to persuade Johnny to play baseball with him after the lunch, but his father merely chucks the ball in the lake. Theodore and Leah enjoy themselves more, and the boy enjoys asking Shufti questions about her life in America.

"And you are happy here, with your father?" Shufti asks, anxiously.

"I miss my mother... you... and it is hard sometimes with the famine. But I am all right." Theodore says. "He is not so bad really, when you are a boy."

Jack comes over to sit on her other side. Theodore nods at his double, smiles slightly, and goes to play with Leah. Jack looks up at Shufti.

"What did he want?"

"He had some questions about America." Shufti says. "How are you enjoying your time here?"

"It... kind of sucks." Jack says. "I'm glad I live in America. Everyone's so poor here and they hardly have any food. And Johnny is a jerk."

Shufti wraps an arm around him. "You stuck up for me, I was very proud."

"You don't wish I was like Theodore, do you?" Jack asks, anxiously.

"Jack, like I said, if I wanted you to be good at chores and training as a soldier, we would have stayed here." Beat. "Though I'm hoping after this you might put your pants in the hamper when I ask."

Jack laughs. "Okay."

"I love you Jack, you know that?"

As they get a portal home, Shufti notices that for the first time since she announced her pregnancy, Jack is talking to CJ properly, and calling him 'Dad' again. And even if the meeting with Johnny didn't go so well, that is certainly a relief.

It was tricky to lure Gene and Javert in, but with a bit of help from Teja, Shufti manages to get them into the office.

That and sending Gene an anonymous note reading:

'One hour training session in the Security office. Free whiskey to follow.'

In the office area she has set up a stand with presentation paper on it, blank so far. Her bump is visible, but not big enough to stop her standing for an hour.

Or however long this takes...

[ooc: Suggested order Teja, Gene and Javert either order, Shufti]

The next room is a dark outside twilight, in a forest.

Shufti sits down on tree stump for a moment, getting her breath back, but keeping an eye out for the next danger.

"You need iron tablets." the doctor says, frowning at Shufti as he looks over her blood results.

"Iron tablets?" Shufti asks, blinking at him. "What for?"

"You're anaemic, you need to eat more iron." the doctor says, tapping something into his computer.

"Like magnets?" Shufti asks, imagining something like a bullet. The doctor gives her a funny look, assumes it's a joke, and doesn't respond to it. Shufti makes a mental note to ask the internet that one later.

"I've had some sickness, I don't think eating metal will help." she ventures.

"The sickness should pass soon, once you're out of the first trimester." the doctor says.

"I know." Shufti says. "Thank you." she adds, politely.

"Right, let's do your scan then." the doctor says.

"Is that necessary?" Shufti asks.

The look is as she expected; a sort of incredulous stare. Probably like the one she gave him by mistake upon realising that her obstetrician was a man.

"For the welfare of your baby, you should have a scan. Your insurance covers it."

Oh yes, the in-sewer-ants. Shufti sighs and gets up onto the couch. She knows she's lucky; CJ has access to a very good health plan for all of them, and she's grateful. But back in Borogravia, Nuggan forbade pictures of anyone who wasn't the Duchess. And while photographs do exist now of her and her family, taking a picture of an unborn baby just seems like tempting fate.

The doctor puts the cold scanner on her tummy. She glances warily at the screen, the black and white image.

"And there's the heart... and that's the face there..." the doctor says. "By these measurements you are... thirteen weeks four days."

"You can be so precise?" Shufti asks, blinking at him. "Is it healthy?"

"You can't see much here but it's viable."

"Viable?"

"Alive." the doctor says. "Do you want a picture?"

"Ye Gods no." Shufti says. "Are we done?"

For a few weeks, Shufti volunteering at Jack's school seemed to have a good effect. Jack had kept his nose clean, his kindergarten teacher said he'd been less trouble, and his grades were... well, still not that great, but better.

The volunteering was mostly PTA paperwork, combined with occasional classroom help. Painting class, usually, like today. Shufti had explained to the teachers that her literacy skilly would probably be a bad influence on the kids.

One of the kids hands her a drawing without putting his name on it. She picks up a pencil to write it on and stops. Chase. That's the kid's name. But she's never seen it written. She hesitates, then writes 'Chays' lightly at the side.

A couple of the kids peer over her shoulder and snigger.

Outside in the playground, trouble is soon brewing. She steps out to the worrying chant of 'Fight Fight Fight!'. Uh oh...

She strides over there and seperates the two scufflers. Unfortunately, the aggressor turns out to be Jack, punching a small bespectacled boy in the stomach.

"Jack Theodore Manickle-Johnson!" she hauls him off. "Stop hitting Chase right now!"

The kindergarteners laugh hysterically as she takes her errant son over to the other side of the playground.

"Jack! Fancy showing me up like that! I'll have to tell your teacher, you know."

"Me showing you up?" Jack yells. "You're the one that's always showing me up! You sent me to school with a stupid haircut, and you can't send a text, or an email, and you spell kids' names wrong! You turn up in weirdo clothes and then volunteer and tell me off in front of everyone and you're a stupid mom!"

Shufti has faced battle, and fear, and near death. But this... is like being stabbed.

She swallows.

"Don't speak to me like that." she says, trying to think how to put this without getting angry or making it worse.

"Everyone laughs at me and it's your fault!" Jack yells.

Shufti gets down to the angry five-year-old's level.

"Everyone's different in this world." she says. "If you want to be smart then you need to work hard in school. I never got to go to school, that's why I can't read very well. I can't make you cool - only you know what's in fashion in your peer group - so you have to tell me. You know your Dad'll buy you clothes you like."

"It's not 'cool', Mom, it's 'sick'!"

"Well never mind that. Is this why you've been beating up other kids? Because they laughed?"

Jack nods.

"I'm gonna get a gun and shoot them."

Shufti stares in shock.

"Jack! I don't want to hear you saying things like that ever again! I will ask your teacher to sort things out with the other kids, but you've got to keep your fists to yourself. You're five years old, and I'm not having you behave like a gangster."

She takes Jack to the Principal's office, missing his look of fury as they go past his classmates.

Shufti carefully reads the instruction letter, trying to find out what to expect. She half wishes she'd brought CJ, but since she only found this letter in Jack's pocket this morning, someone had to stay home with the kids.

"Mrs Johnson?" A tall, thin, grim-looking woman approaches.

"It's Mrs Manickle-Johnson." Shufti says.

The woman frowns slightly, introduces herself as the deputy principal, then ushers her through. Shufti follows. This seems very formal for a Parent Teacher Conferance, not that she's been to one before. But the other parents seem to be waiting for the same thing.

Jack's teacher is behind the desk, also looking grim. Uh oh. Shufti shakes her hand and sits down.

"So, how's Jack doing?" she asks, looking from one teacher to the other.

"He's a smart boy." his teacher says. "But that is all I can say in his favour. His work is careless, he's rude, disruptive, bullies smaller kids and tells lies."

Shufti stares for a moment, mildly horrified. Sure, Jack's been a bit cheeky lately, but she hadn't been expecting this.

"Are you sure we're talking about my Jack?"

"Yes."

Shufti takes a deep breath and sighs.

"All right, his father and I will do whatever it takes to help with this. He's not like that at home. Can you give some examples please?"

"This morning, when I told him off for lying, he called me a 'Lying fart-breathed old bat'."

Shufti winces. "What was he lying about?"

"I asked the children to draw a picture of what their family did at the weekend, and he drew 'The demon monkey biting Mommy's arm'."

Shufti hesitates, then rolls up her sleeve to reveal the bandage. The teacher stares as she unwraps it to reveal a bite mark.

"I was actually bitten by a monkey, just not a demon one." Beat. "I think it escaped from somewhere. What else?"

"When I asked them to draw a planet, he drew this." She holds up a picture of a round, flat world on the back of four elephants on a turtle.

"I think he saw that on television. Perhaps he didn't realise it had to be a real planet?" Shufti suggests.

"He then called me a 'Stupid moron'."

"I'll definitely be tackling him about the name-calling." Shufti says firmly.

"In the playground yesterday, he told the smallest boy in his kindergarton class that he was going to 'Bring in Mom's crossbow and shoot his head off'. Do you have a crossbow, Mrs Johnson?"

"Strictly ornamental." Shufti says. "I'll have stern words with Jack, so will his father. If there's any more problems, please tell me."

She goes home feeling a little dispirited. And then gets on the warpath, telling CJ; then they both sit Jack down for a stern talking to.

"You mustn't tell anyone about the bar." Shufti says when she finishes. "It's very important. And I don't want to hear of you ever threatening little kids or speaking to your teacher like that again."

"She is a liar." Jack grumbles, as she takes him upstairs to get ready for bed. "She said I was making stuff up."

"Because she doesn't know any better." Shufti says.

"And when we did body colours she said that everyone is half Mom and half Dad."

"Well they are." Shufti says.

"Then why am I blonde when you and Dad and Leah have dark hair?"

Something inside Shufti freezes up. Shit. It never occurred to her that Jack wouldn't remember meeting his biological father. CJ has been his real Dad since he was less than a year old.

"I don't know sweetheart, I think it's one of those things." she says casually. "The important thing is you have lovely hair, and that you mustn't call your teacher a liar."

Shufti has managed to track down Guppy and pin him down to a brief meeting in her room. They compare notes on the Teja Murder case, which after five minutes turns into Shufti staring incredulously at Guppy.

"You're telling me that Yrael has found all the evidence need to solve this case, failed to document it, let it melt, and now Urquhart is wandering around outside?"

"Um, yes." Guppy admits.

"Guppy, you told me he was reliable!"

"A friend had just died, Yrael has abilities I thought would help."

There is an awkward silence.

"Well I'd better track them both down then before I get sacked." Shufti says. "And now we'll have to start over with the evidence. Can you prove that the weapon was a gelatinous crossbow bolt."

"Yes." Guppy says. "Once Yrael had explained it, I retested the sticky stuff and matched it to gelatine."

"Okay, if you can narrow it down to a brand it would be even better. I'll ask Bar if Urquhart's bought any large quantities of gelatine. I think that would be enough to bring him in. But first I'll see if I can track down Yrael and see if any of the evidence is still there."

She gets up, picking up her notes.

"Sorry." Guppy says, getting his own things together. "Yrael may not be very co-operative."

"We'll see. I'll try a different method."

[ooc: If your character's fandom considers Discworld, Casualty, Animal Farm or The Avengers to be fictional, please comment here.]

"Mama!"

Shufti stops in the door of room 148 and smiles at Jack.

"Oh, you clever boy!" She kisses him on the forehead as she steps inside the room and puts him down on the floor.

As she turns to shut the door, she freezes, coming face to face with Johnny.

"Get out of my room." she says, reaching for the crossbow on her belt. In an instant he has grabbed it and flung it across the room.

"No. It is time to talk. I have given you the reasons why I need you to do your duty and marry me. I need an answer, Betty."

Shufti glares at him straight in the eyes.

"You tell me that you must marry and produce an heir or your family will be thrown out of the house when you die. You asked for my pity. But you have sweet talked me before. I will never marry you. I will never take my son into that danger again. So you must find another woman to be your slave and leave us alone."

She backs away slightly as he moves forward.

She draws her sword.

He draws his.

"Then you leave me no choice. I'm sorry."

She lets out a piercing scream of anger and fear as he lunges forward, but her training comes into play and her sword meets his. They duel, each matching the others' strikes...

Neither really wanting to kill the other...

There is a crash as Johnny's sword goes through a glass on her locker and a thutunnnnng as Shufti's bounces off the bedpost. Each striking, each blocking, as if it were rehearsed.


And dodging around them, crawling into nooks and crannies is Jack, who eventually lodges himself into a corner behind a lamp and watches wide-eyed.

It cannot continue as such. Shufti knocks Johnny's sword from his hand and he immediately slams his hand onto her wrist, knocking her own sword away. In an instant he has her by the front of her shirt and throws her to the floor, on his knees and gasping for breath.

"You... improved." he gasps. "But you were never going to win."


In the corner, Jack stands up, carefully supporting himself on the wall.

And then putting his little hands on the lamp stand. He leans on it, and is surprised when it moves, toppling over down towards the pair on the floor below...
...smacking Johnny on the head...
...sliding down his forehead and hitting Shufti...


And all of a sudden the room is very quiet.




"Mama"